August 13th, 2012
Comment by Leah
SHAZZ. ILU. SO MUCH THAT I'M COMMENTING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN RUNEWRITERS HISTORY!
I like the aberrant and I'm curious to see what happens next. Also for your amusement, Sevarian speaks in a way that is similar to you ...so...sometimes I hear his dialogue in your voice. This is something I just realized, but though I'd share because I find it entertaining.
Couple of quick critiques...or really just one. I can't really tell what made the thingy's heart explode. Was it Sev? Or something else? You kind of zoom in on the vines, which probably is just a focus of "OMG JONANS STILL TRAPPED" but also is a little ambiguous (to me at least) if they effect the aberrant at all? They're probably completely separate things, but considering the second to last panel is a little hard to tell what's going on, it could be misinterpreted. Overall, the scene read easy, it was just that one part that has me a little unsure what happened. It could just be me, but just a heads up. Possibly the ambiguousness was intended, so if so, CARRY ON! ^^;
PS - poor Sev. Even when he shape changes into cute furry things....they're cute furry things with tentacles. XD
posted at 11:19pm on August 13th, 2012
Reply by Nziz
I think that shadowy panel is SquirrelSev biting the aberrant's heart.
That said, nicely done, Sev! Way to take down a terrifying thing with just tiny squirrel teeth!
I approve. :D
posted at 11:33pm on August 13th, 2012
Reply by Shazzbaa
Nziz is correct! :"D BUT OMG thank you for FIRST EVER COMMENT <3
And ahahahaha it's true, Severian basically has exactly my diction 9 times out of 10. xD
posted at 11:37pm on August 13th, 2012
Comment by Kiri
Oh man. Squirrel with horns and tentacles. Aaaaa.
I really love all the long tiers in that first page! ...I'm kind of a sucker for that page layout in general though. XD
Unfortunately, I also couldn't read that shadowy panel well until I read the comments down here. Sev's squirrel shadow read like a clawy hand to me instead of a profile of an open mouth. x_x I can see why you'd want an easy close-up panel on a page like this though! So epic. x3
posted at 12:08am on August 14th, 2012
Hahahaha, thank you! I HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH IT~
Added Sev's eye in to make the shape less ambiguous; curious if this helps!
posted at 12:21am on August 14th, 2012
Reply by Kwaj
It does! Though it had not occurred to me that aberrants even HAD hearts, so since I missed the blood vessels on the other shape, I did not get what action he was taking, there.
posted at 1:11am on August 14th, 2012
Comment by Twentydragon
We seem to have discovered the bony-thing's natural predator: the rabbit-thing (or should I call it a smeerp?).
posted at 1:56am on August 14th, 2012
Hahahahaha, greetings, fellow Troper! xD
<tangent> Weirdly, RW is often that very trope in reverse -- calling a Smeerp a rabbit? Most creatures in RW are slightly fantasy-tweaked animals but they're still like "oh look it's a bird" "oh hey it's a squirrel" "glowing vaguely canine thing that has its own, foreign name for its species? we'll just call it a moonwolf that's good enough."
Everything I've seen in the animal kingdom (tasmanian tiger, anyone?) has taught me that humans aren't super creative when it comes to naming their fauna. xD </tangent>
posted at 11:42am on August 17th, 2012
Comment by Fay Onyx
The eye definitely helps.
The thing that I was wondering about is how Sev is able to crawl inside it without dieing. Doesn't that count as him touching it or is it only that hand thing that kills?
Very interesting plot and wonderful drawings by the way.
posted at 8:01am on August 14th, 2012
Thank you! :"D I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Staying quiet on the aberrant issue for now, but there will be explanation later. :")
posted at 11:48am on August 17th, 2012
Comment by Artificer-Urza
If this particular species of aberrant is toxic to whatever it touches, how can Sev get inside the thing? We need to get to the heart of the matter
posted at 10:15am on August 14th, 2012
Reply by Glew
It intrigues me too
posted at 9:07am on August 15th, 2012
Comment by jcbq
First time posting on here and This is GLORIOUSLY EPIC! But my theory on the matter of sev not turning to dust is this: due tothe fact that he IS part aberrant he can touch it without any repercussions. How ever he just ate some of the things heart so I'm wondering...
posted at 3:21pm on August 14th, 2012
Ahh, thank you so much! :"D
posted at 11:49am on August 17th, 2012
Comment by Meggyc
Tarri to the rescue! Though, ow. I cringed at panel 10. Poor Jonan.
Why do I want to draw squirrel-Sev now? Stop subliminally making me want to draw your characters, Shazzbaa. XD
Seriously though, this is an amazing page and hurrah for two part updates! That last panel is quite incredible. The perspective and scale just seem so epic, for lack of better description
posted at 6:23pm on August 14th, 2012
Ahahahaha glad you caught that. >u> LEGS DO NOT BEND THAT WAY.
Ummmmmmmm I'm 100% okay with you drawing any of my characters any time. Just to say.
posted at 11:50am on August 17th, 2012
Reply by Meggyc
Yeah, that's kind of not natural. (Also, I like how in panel three he looks more angry than terrified. That's just hilarious to me!)
And you know what, I probably will draw Squirrel-Sev. Eventually. XD He looks like he'd be fun to cartoonify for some reason. Must be the tentacles and skeleton tail.
posted at 5:41pm on August 17th, 2012
Comment by Silver
Sev, that was a plan of fail. Did you even have a real plan?
If Tarri hadn't gotten involved, the guy would probably be severely injured, if not dead, rather than just having a broken ankle and chest cuts. Of course, they're chest cuts from the one touch and you're dead monster, according to you, so he's probably dead anyways.
Fail, Sev. Faaaaaaaaaaail!
posted at 12:18am on August 15th, 2012
Hey! Severian will kindly ask you to stuff it, he knows what he's doing!
( I just want to say that it's actually really awesome to see so much discussion here of Sev's plan, whether it should've been possible, and if it was a good idea or not. I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU FOR CARING ABOUT THESE GUYS SO MUCH <3 )
posted at 11:56am on August 17th, 2012
Comment by Patrick
Okay, so this is an amazing comic. I like very much how the characters talk like, you know, people. They just sound real in a way that fantasy characters often don't. I want to see Gandalf running up the bridge in Moria, "Run, man, I totally got this!"
Are you open to a (I hope) constructive criticism?
Some times it's hard to pick out the characters in the images. Especially with all the morphic shapeshifting stuff happening in these images, it can take a moment to recognize the important bits. That moment can break the flow of a well paced and fast moving story.
For example, using thicker lines at the edges of a character's image would make them stand out more. There are probably other, better techniques; unlike yourself, I'm not a comic artist so I don't know so much.
So, I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
posted at 11:20am on August 17th, 2012
Ahhhh thank you so much! I am thrilled that you're enjoying it -- and I'm gonna admit, Sev's voice is one of the most fun to write. xD
I am definitely open to crits -- (though I do prefer them through email or a private medium!) -- the thing is that lineweight is deffff something I make use of: take a look at the lineart for any page and you'll see I'm a big fan of using heavier lines on foreground things and lighter lines on background things. Inking is my favourite part of the process, so I go all out!
My weakness is colour, and sometimes composition; I suspect that's a bigger part of the difficulty you're describing. I'm still learning to plan my colours in a way that calls attention to the right parts of the page, or lay out my panels in a way that the most important things are not only seen, but recognised as important. It's definitely something I'm working on, but thanks very much for your feedback! :")
posted at 12:02pm on August 17th, 2012
Reply by Patrick
Ah, yes, I should have taken the time to figure out private alternate channels of communications things.
You also have very detailed work. Or... work that is rich with detail? There's a lot going on in these panels, and a lot to look at. I think work of that nature always has that challenge.
posted at 9:50pm on August 19th, 2012